BOTH!!!

*waves to get your attention, then runs away*

1. Giskard Reventlov - for his vision, his delicacy in executing it and his tremendous self-sacrifice. I got all choked up when his positronic pathways randomized.

2. Daneel Olivaw - who doesn't love Daneel? Most famous robot, ever, and handsome on top of that. I love how he handled Elijah, how he handled Harry and how he was always, always there... throughout millenia.

3. Dors Venabili - I always admired her devotion to Harry and Raych.

That one. I read an entire book about it, but I was too horrified to look at the pictures.

She was cut in half for pity's sake! And that's actually what killed her... ex-sanguination. Wow. Her life was also quite a mystery... she hovered right on the fringes of a blossoming Hollywood, just one-step under the radar of becoming the next screen siren. In fact, I think I remember reading that she circulated with some of the same people Marylin Monroe did.

The book I read about her, Severed by John Gilmore, I think ended up being dis-proven later... I don't remember who he proposed killed her but I do know that numerous theories have been formulated over the years, some more preposterous than others.

I think she had a difficult life, though. If the accounts of her family life and young romances are true, she struggled just to get by most of her life, got her heart broken more than a few times and never quite got what she wanted. Add to that the horror of her death and she is deeply sympathetic. Poor baby. Bless her heart.

Cabernet Sauvignon.

Oh wait... is that not a food?

We go all out... I even made the salad dressing for the salad. Everything we make is from scratch. I can hardly wait!

I just wanted to say that I am thankful today... thankful for all my many blessings. Family, health, work, life... and friends. Including my fellow NaBloPoMo blogging friends!

Happy Thanksgiving to all! I send you all my best and warmest wishes!

Fortunately, in my family we have culled all the undesirable dishes from our "traditional" menu, but my mom and I were discussing recently the things my Grandmother always made as part of their tradition and it included some things we both agreed we don't care for very much. Apparently she always made Waldorf salad. Not a big favorite of mine. I can eat it... but there are a hundred other things I'd rather have. She also made Ambrosia... the salad with the coconut and little marshmallows. That I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. I just... I don't want anything with my dinner that has candy in it. Including sweet potatoes. We don't have those, either. Now... I do like sweet potatoes... but if I'm going to have them, I'd rather have them for dessert.

Dessert is not high on our list of priorities for our holiday meals. It's always an afterthought that we include out of habit but no one ends up wanting because we've all eaten so much dinner. I'd rather have an extra helping of dressing and cranberries and then have an after dinner hit of brandy or a liqueur than a piece of pie or cake. I'm just never very inclined to give up precious digestive real estate to sweets.

In light of my extreme overindulgence last Saturday, this information is coming a day late and a dollar short. Although... not really because I already knew this stuff. Most of it anyway. However, I did not know about RU-21 nor did I know about the orange juice and raw egg remedy. Yuck... that is so the last thing I could ever consent to when my stomach is in an already queasy state.

Anyway... here's the article from Men's Health regarding hangover cures (BTW, I find it a little discriminatory that such an article is published Men's Health magazine and not in... say... Good Housekeeping or Woman's Day magazine. Women drink too much and get hangovers, too, ya know!):

Hangover Helpers
Drinking is a buy-now, pay-later proposition. Here's how to avoid paying debt to the porcelain god
Researched by: Leigh Cole

Moderation may be your mantra, but we all cross the line now and then. That's why we tested 11 common hangover remedies. Use trial and error to figure out which work best for you.

APPROACH ONE: STAY HYDRATED

WATER
The Claim: Alcohol inhibits secretion of the hormone vasopressin, bringing on dehydration, which exacerbates the symptoms of a hangover.

Our Test: Two approaches: Drink loads at the end of a night, or drink throughout the evening. "For me, a glass every 2 hours worked great," said our tester.

The Verdict: "It puts you ahead of the game," says Robert Swift, M.D., of Brown University, adding that, unlike Coors, it's not a silver bullet. Try something else, too.

GATORADE

The Claim: Gatorade's 6 percent carbohydrate solution promotes rehydration better than mere water.

Our Test: "I downed two huge bottles at the end of the night," said our tester. "And I felt like a million bucks the next day."

The Verdict: It's a great substitute for plain old water. "The extra salt helps your body absorb the fluid more quickly," explains Dr. Swift.

APPROACH TWO: ABSORB SLOWER, METABOLIZE FASTER

THE MEGA-DINNER

The Claim: Food delays gastric emptying in the stomach--meaning alcohol stays there longer and is processed more slowly.

Our Test: "There's nothing like pounding a burger before a night of boozing. But the effect wore off as I kept drinking," said our tester.

The Verdict: A no-brainer. Don't drink on an empty stomach. "The longer alcohol stays in the stomach," says Dr. Swift, "the better your body breaks it down."

THE JUICE CHASER (two glasses of OJ or tomato juice before bed)

The Claim: The fructose in the juice speeds up metabolism, ridding your system of alcohol more quickly.

Our Test: "I felt as sick the next day as I would have otherwise," reported our still-queasy guinea pig. "It just didn't work."

The Verdict: Looks good on paper, but here's the fine print: "You'd have to drink at least 10 glasses," says Carlton K. Erickson, Ph.D., of the University of Texas.

RU-21 (a supplement)

The Claim: It slows down the creation of a nasty by-product--the one that causes headaches and nausea--while speeding up the destruction of others.

Our Test: "Success. I woke up to a group of clearheaded people. There was no groaning, no puking, and no handing out aspirin," said our tester.

The Verdict: Works, but only to a point. "Your metabolism is already running as fast as it can," says Dr. Swift. But if it's effective for you, go for it.

APPROACH THREE: REPLACE ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS

SALTINES
(10, to be exact, washed down with 24 oz water)

The Claim: Salt helps you retain the fluid you lose over a night of drinking. With 32 milligrams of salt per cracker, this is a surefire way to keep from drying up.

Our Test: "Too labor-intensive. I would much rather pop a pill than shove crackers down my abused throat."

The Verdict: Drinking water is a better way to stay hydrated. But, "at the very least, it'll help dilute the alcohol in your stomach," says Dr. Swift.

THE BULL'S-EYE
(12-oz glass of OJ mixed with a raw egg)

The Claim: Fructose in the OJ helps promote breakdown of alcohol, and egg protein replaces lost nutrients.

Our Test: "More vomit-inducing than the alcohol itself."

The Verdict: "There is no evident benefit to this concoction that would justify the risk of getting salmonella," says Dr. Swift.

APPROACH FOUR: CLEAR YOUR HEAD

HAIR OF THE DOG

The Claim: Hangovers only hit once you sober up, so stay drunk.

Our Test: "I woke up feeling horrible. I was nauseous and grumpy. My head was pounding. Then I had three beers and felt like a new man," said our tester.

The Verdict: Fine, but you're just putting off the inevitable. Plus: "This could lead to alcohol abuse," says Erickson. Duh.

DRINKING ONLY LIGHT-COLORED ALCOHOL (white wine, vodka, and gin)

The Claim: Lighter drinks have fewer headache-inducing congeners than darker drinks, like red wine, beer, and dark liquors.

Our Test: "I felt just as disgusting as on any other night of hard drinking. On the way home, I had to have my friend pull over so I could puke."

The Verdict: It actually does work--if you're drinking in moderation. "If you drink a quart of white wine, you're still going to get a hangover," says Erickson.

ASPIRIN

The Claim: Popping two the night before fights off headaches before they start.

Our Test: "My head wasn't too bad, but I was still tired and nauseated."

The Verdict: Thumbs-up--but be careful. "Aspirin can irritate the stomach," says Dr. Swift. And mixing alcohol and Tylenol can damage the liver.

EXERCISE

The Claim: Sweating helps leach alcohol out of your system more quickly.

Our Test: "I feel like I'm actually sweating out alcohol. It might just be in my head, but I feel better by doing it."

The Verdict: The perfect placebo: "You're just doing something to get your mind off the hangover," says Erickson. But you're getting a good workout, too.

2008 RODALE INC. ALL rights reserved

Jack Johnson In Between Dreams
Black Sabbath We Sold Our Souls for Rock n Roll
Metallica ...And Justice for All
Megadeth Peace Sells
Led Zepplin Physical Graffiti
Pink Floyd The Wall
Pantera Cowboys from Hell
Steely Dan A Decade of Steely Dan
Eagles Hotel California
Van Morrison Moondance

A lot of characters in kids' books have it pretty good?! Not if you're in a Roald Dahl story! Or a Lemony Snicket story. Or if you're Alexander. Or if you're in a Hans Christian Anderson story. Or in one of Scheherazade's stories. Or in one of Charles Dickens' stories... well, I guess he didn't really write children's literature, but I was thinking of Oliver. He definitely didn't have it good. Yikes.

Even Toad from Wind in the Willows... he had a great time for a while, but he was clearly having some mental health issues and he ended up in jail anyway and then had to dress as a lady toad to sneak out and nearly got caught. Then the weasels took over his house and he ended up having to apologize to Water Rat and Mole and Badger after it was all over... he was a very chastened and contrite Toad.

What about Mary from The Secret Garden? I guess everything turned out okay for her in the end, but I sure wouldn't say she had it pretty good considering her parents were killed in an earthquake and she was sent to live with a scary uncle in a huge house with a mean housemistress who boxed her ears and locked her in her room. Sheesh! It's actually quite horrifying.

The Velveteen Rabbit didn't have it so good, either. Poor Velveteen Rabbit.

I'm having a difficult time coming up with any children's stories where the main characters had it good. I mean, even when the stories END well, it's almost never that way from start to finish.

Wait. Corduroy. He did okay. Lived in a department store, then got rescued by a little girl and given his very own bed and friendship forever. I guess he had it pretty good. Curious George has it pretty good. Clifford. Ummm, I guess the Winnie the Pooh crew has it good, they do get to play all the time, but then Christopher Robin had to go away to school and they were all sad about that.

Madeline... she didn't have it good, she had a bad fever, she had to have her appendix removed... although she did at least get chocolates and flowers while she was in the hospital.

And how bad did you feel for Jessie in Toy Story 2 when her little girl stuck her in a box and walked away from her at the Goodwill donation site? That was perfectly heartbreaking. Now, she did end up in Andy's room and Andy played with her and she was happy but she was pretty sad all that time she was shut up in a box in Newman's apartment. That might not have been "literature," but it was still sad. Especially with the song that went with it. :::sniff:::

Okay, I thought of one. Pipi Longstocking. She had it pretty good... or at least she thought so and that's all that counts. If I could be a children's book character, I'd be Pipi Longstocking. Except... she smoked a pipe, which... ew. Little girls smoking pipes = not good. Hmmm, if I remember correctly she also drank coffee. But she had fun and she was real strong and kept livestock in her house, so I guess she had it pretty good. She may not have been human, though, there is some evidence to support that she wasn't. Super strength and a taste for coffee and tobacco at age 9, those really aren't the characteristics of a human girl.

I watched a show the other weekend about venom. Which was mostly about snakes, as you may imagine. There were some other venomous critters such as lizards, scorpions, spiders and... ah... snails. But the most extraordinary thing in the show was... apparently, ground squirrels, in Texas especially, are literally evolving a tolerance to rattlesnake venom. A full-grown human being would sicken rapidly and even die without anti-venom, a human child certainly would, but a little teeny squirrel can take more than one hit from a rattlesnake... and fail to die. They get real sick and feel pretty bad, but they don't die. Because squirrels, or more specifically their pups, are the most common prey of rattlesnakes. And over the years (hundreds, I'm guessing), squirrels have developed a level of immunity to rattlesnake venom. Wow. Tiny squirrel, bit fat rattler. Squirrel takes two hits... doesn't die. Wow.

And that kind of segues into one of the other disturbing things I learned on this venom show is that, you know, some venomous species are much more venomous than it even takes to kill something far larger than they can eat. Say... a human or... an elephant. The reason for this is a combination of factors, including, prey animals building tolerance or defense against venom and stronger venom results in an increase in speed of death. Some predators must kill their prey instantly or lose their meal, hence, lack of survival. So their venom is super, mega, extra powerful.

Look out for... cone snails. Apparently some species of cone snails are so wildly venomous that they're regulated by the government because the venom could be used as a powerful biological weapon. The good news is, our lovely molecular biologists are studying these venoms to come up with beneficial pharmaceuticals, such as painkillers that don't come with addiction, or rot your stomach or your liver. Wouldn't that be nice?

Uhhhhmmmm... I'm guessing not.

This seems to me a cheap (although fairly inventive) attempt to advertise the site that's linked there. Sorry... just had to point that out.

Oh! I know this! I know this!!!

Definitely Neil Gaiman. He posted a clip on his blog of a reading he did somewhere... can't remember where... from Fragile Things.

I'm pretty sure he read "Instructions," "How to Talk to Girls at Parties," and "The Day the Saucers Came." Although, the second one he read might've been "Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House of the Night of Dread Desire." Or maybe it was all four. The thing is... well, his writing is so outrageously original (seriously, he gives Phillip K. Dick and H.P. Lovecraft a run for their money with both unexpected originality and also... creepy stuff), but hearing the pacing of it as he reads it is a treat beyond value.

But what really makes it when he reads is hearing his British accent. Well, and... he's very easy to look at. Wow. In fact, I think my first preference would be if he would come to my house and read the whole book just to me. Yeah, Neil... can we arrange that, please? I'll cook! And I have Stardust on DVD (oh, it's brilliant), we can watch it together and giggle inappropriately when Michelle Pfieffer's boobs sag! C'mon! It'll be fun.

Look at this... even my blog could sense something was wrong. Hey, I'm sorry, I wasn't feeling good and that did make me a tad less than friendly, I admit it. Miserable heat + miserable pain = miserable me. I was feeling distinctly misanthropic all day and probably had that roiling aura of "fuck off" swirling all around me. It was difficult to smile and be pleasant, but I should get at least a little credit for trying and frankly I'd like to see anyone else in that much pain be all bubbly and happy.

I had to stop in the grocery store before I came home... to get wine. For medicinal purposes, you know. That was the real goal was the wine, but before I got to the wine I had to go by the table where they have pieces of cake and I've become some kind of fiend for cake lately so I got three pieces of cake... one for me and two for Michael. Then the bottle of wine... and what was it I kept thinking "Damn, I was just at the store and forgot [ ____________ ]?" Butter! I thought I would give Michael some corn for dinner, but I've been out of butter.

So, three pieces of cake, a bottle of wine and some butter. I shuffled through the store with my arms full of stuff, mostly just working really hard to not drop the bottle of wine, alternately trying to avoid getting hit by people with carts in a hurry and trying to avoid getting stuck behind some slow-moving 80-year-old. At one point this lady came blazing out of the end of an aisle and nearly hit me with her cart then smiled sweetly and said, "Excuse me." And that was nice, right? She smiled. She excused herself. That's more than civil, that's pleasant. But I was so surly, even though I stretched my mouth into an approximation of a smile and inclined my head toward her as if to say, "it's okay that you almost ran me down with your cart," all I could think was, "Get out of my fucking way, Lady."

I must've looked particularly miserable because many people who passed me seemed to want to smile brightly and say hello. Any other time I'd find that delightful, such a thing would restore my faith in my fellow man. Today, though, I just wanted to tell everyone to piss off and get the hell away from me. Yes! I know! I was in a hurry to get home and remove my grumptastic self from the society of other people.

See? What a sweetie I am!?

I'd head straight for the produce section and spend my three minutes there grabbing up as much salad and/or salsa ingredients as I could... and some fruit. Our produce section also has lots of fresh shelled nuts and good dried fruit so I'd grab that, too.

The bakery is right next to the produce section so hopefully I'd have a little time to grab up a few loaves of their fresh artisan bread... some ciabatta, french bread and pumpernickel.

Cake should be eaten at room temperature and if it's my applesauce cake, should be eaten for breakfast with a cup of coffee.



Custard and cream pies should be eaten chilled.

Fruit pies should be eaten hot and definitely should be a la mode.

Mmmm, now I'm needin' me some pie.

I find this question ironic in light of the fact that I'm in the midst of a grad-level ethics class and we've just been studying the development of ego and how our social institutions can sometimes force us to excessive egoism.

Seems like... sitting around trying to figure out my favorite thing about myself and then boldy sharing my own high opinion of some feature or quality qualifies as excessive egoism.

The truth is I like everything about myself while accepting the fact that I am neither physically nor intellectually nor emotionally perfect. I don't think it's all that useful an excercise for me to spend time contemplating specifically what is so great about me and what is not so great.

Weird question.

Well, I don't think it's really that crazy, but I'd like to learn to sew. Just simple stuff like pillows and table cloths. Maybe a valance or two. Nothing fancy.

I'd also like to learn to speak Spanish. And I'd like to learn a martial art.

I guess none of that is really very crazy.

If you could be another person for a day, who would it be and why?

I have three answers to this.

My first answer is: I'd like to be Derian Hatcher. Derian used to play for the Dallas Stars (several years back when they won the Stanely Cup) but is apparently now a defenseman for the Philadelphia Flyers. But the real point is: he's 6'5" and weighs 245 lbs. I think it would be so much fun to experience what it's like to be that tall, that strong and that fast for a day. I'd probably go around busting other guys' jaws, too. Oops, sorry, man. Heh.

My second answer is: I'd like be a Victoria's Secret model for one day... for obvious reasons. Just for one day. But for that one day it would be fun to be that powerfully sexy. And again, I can't imagine what it would be like to be so tall. I know I'd tire quickly of having to walk around with that pouty look on my face, though.

Finally: I'd like to be someone for whom math is easy.

What is one food that you refuse to try? Why?

Along with head cheese, tripe and sweetbreads I will never ingest ANY of the stuff Steve has over at The Sneeze.

Check out the long, and gut-bustingly (sorry! had to!) hilarious, list of things Steve has eaten in his "Steve Don't Eat It!" section.

Now, I don't have anything against organ meat in general... er, wait. Yes I do. It's organ meat. I don't want it. I don't really believe it's good. Like... mmm! Um, no. I think organ meat is something you eat when you're living on the edge of survival and it is imperative to make full use of all resources in order to stay alive. I realize some consider organ meat of various sorts to be a delicacy, but I don't. If I had to chow me down a plateful of eyeballs and brains in order to stay alive... yeah, I'd manage it. But on purpose? When I could just as easily have a sandwich or something? No way. I do not live on the set of Fear Factor.

I've heard that menudo will cure a hangover... but I think you have to be of a much stronger constitution than I am to be feeling hungover and queasy, to then shovel down a steaming bowlful of cow intestines. See, I'm not even hungover right now and the very idea of that makes me feel all... gaggy and sicked out.

I picture a large, swarthy man of Central American descent who drank the whole bottle of tequila and ate the worm, feeling kinda not so good the next day then fixes that with his big bowl of spicy cow intestine soup. But I am not him. Compared to him I am a complete wimp. I don't want it. Ever. I'll just be over here with my breakfast taco and some salsa, thankyouverymuch.

How well do you know your next-door neighbors?

Oh, look. It's a little excercise for me to do. How fun.

Well, I don't know any of them personally, but I know some things about them which I have written of here before.

To the right of us are the neighbors whose 7-year-old daughter had fake sex with my 5-year-old son and, consequently, they are ALL persona non grata as far as I'm concerned. I'm glad they're STAYING here when we move away. Only in-bred, dumbass, white trash would do something like that. Or at least I fervently hope so. I accept that I will not always like all of Michael's friends, but I do at least expect they not behave in a criminal manner.

To the left of us are new-ish neighbors. Apparently some well-to-do folks who have a law practice in town. They spent an inordinate amount of money on the property next door only to allow their children to tear it up by riding their ATVs when it's muddy. Their property had the potential to be really beautiful, but apparently that's not what they had in mind. There's a half-wit over there even as I write this mowing the lawn in the thunderstorm.

"The country" is not populated with smart folks. I had tried so hard to reserve that judgement. I didn't want to really believe it was true... maybe they were just ignorant, but I allowed as how I didn't actually know any of them so I shouldn't pass judgement. But their behavior has again and again demonstrated an extreme lack of intelligence to the point that I can no longer avoid judging them to be nothing more than a bunch of dumbass white trash.

It is, however, iminently possible that not everyone who lives in the country are as witless as the people who live next door to us... I hope that's true. I really do.